...since this post.
I won't say when this decision was made but we have made the decision to start trying to have a baby.
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
Friday, January 15, 2010
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Peer Pressure
You know it would seem you can never get away from peer pressure until you die and even then who knows what happens in your afterlife.
Peer Pressure - Pressure from one's peers to behave in a manner or adopt a type of dress, or attitude that is acceptable to them.
I mean think about it, seriously, at every age point and/or milestone you encounter peer pressure whether you are 3 and your older cousin is telling you to color on the walls like him, or you're 16 and your friends are telling you having sex is cool, to you are in your mid twenties and your coworkers are telling you it's time to have a baby.
WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?
Yea, you heard me right, YOUR COWORKERS ARE TELLING YOU IT'S TIME TO HAVE A BABY. I had no idea that people that you don't even consider your friends let alone your peers to be able to provide peer pressure. I mean I understand and even expect the questions... When are you getting married? When are you going to have a baby? Are you thinking about having a family soon?...but to flat out say "It's time for you to get knocked the fuck up... ummm yea not so much. So I have come to the conclusion that these comments (even requests in some cases) are the product of either 2 scenarios.
The first scenario being the more positive. These parents are extremely happy with their children and relish in all the milestones and moments that they get to spend with them. They actually believe you will enjoy said milestones and moments also so they continue to pressure you into having kids. Oh and they think you're kids will be absolutely gorgeous...Way to feed into my babyitis...THANKS!
The second scenario is just a tad bit negative. I'm not saying these parents aren't happy with their kids but they either had them too early or too late in life. You know this type of parent! They are filled with comments like... "You should really have them while your young" or "This is the perfect time since you got to finish school, go out of the country...etc." They still are pressuring you but at the same time they make you realize that you may truly not be ready for kids for one reason or another.
I'm not even going to get into the pressure from the people that don't have kids because I automatically assume that they want to live vicariously through me....ummm No Thank You!
If I think everyone's getting drunk at a pub crawl, I'm going to, too. False norms create imaginary peer pressure. - Michael Haines
Peer Pressure - Pressure from one's peers to behave in a manner or adopt a type of dress, or attitude that is acceptable to them.
I mean think about it, seriously, at every age point and/or milestone you encounter peer pressure whether you are 3 and your older cousin is telling you to color on the walls like him, or you're 16 and your friends are telling you having sex is cool, to you are in your mid twenties and your coworkers are telling you it's time to have a baby.
Yea, you heard me right, YOUR COWORKERS ARE TELLING YOU IT'S TIME TO HAVE A BABY. I had no idea that people that you don't even consider your friends let alone your peers to be able to provide peer pressure. I mean I understand and even expect the questions... When are you getting married? When are you going to have a baby? Are you thinking about having a family soon?...but to flat out say "It's time for you to get knocked the fuck up... ummm yea not so much. So I have come to the conclusion that these comments (even requests in some cases) are the product of either 2 scenarios.
The first scenario being the more positive. These parents are extremely happy with their children and relish in all the milestones and moments that they get to spend with them. They actually believe you will enjoy said milestones and moments also so they continue to pressure you into having kids. Oh and they think you're kids will be absolutely gorgeous...Way to feed into my babyitis...THANKS!
The second scenario is just a tad bit negative. I'm not saying these parents aren't happy with their kids but they either had them too early or too late in life. You know this type of parent! They are filled with comments like... "You should really have them while your young" or "This is the perfect time since you got to finish school, go out of the country...etc." They still are pressuring you but at the same time they make you realize that you may truly not be ready for kids for one reason or another.
I'm not even going to get into the pressure from the people that don't have kids because I automatically assume that they want to live vicariously through me....ummm No Thank You!
If I think everyone's getting drunk at a pub crawl, I'm going to, too. False norms create imaginary peer pressure. - Michael Haines
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes....
So after being married over a year and a half and being together for almost 9 years the baby conversation has come up. I remember just a few years ago being hard core against having kids for at least 5 to 6 years after we were married. Now, only a little over a year into my 5 year plan I have a case of raging babyitis.
You know ba*by*i*tis: Relating to or characterized by a total obsession with babies; current babies, getting babies, and so forth.
I have to say it all started after our first anniversaryof wedded bliss when we had the discussion about me stopping birth control. I wanted to stop birth control because it was driving me crazy...ha Go Figure! We decided that we would start charting for avoidance this year and talk about trying the following year after we were married 2 years and no longer in the newlywed stage. Yea...that was the updated plan. A great plan if I was not overcome with babyitis after only a few months of charting.
So that brings us back to the present, what do we do now? The decision to have a child is life altering. An insanely long term decision...right? Multiple questions pop into my head when I think about having a child. I like to think that this is the rational side of my brain saying "THINK ABOUT THIS DECISION STUPID....NO REALLY THINK ABOUT IT!" Here are a few of the questions that instantly pop into my head when thinking about our future children.
Can we afford a child? The main question that plagues our decision. Not because we have a lavish lifestyle and don't want a child to mess that up for us but seriously there are places in our area charging $2000 for childcare! That is almost one and a half times our rent. That alone in itself poses more questions: Do I stay home with our future child because it would be more beneficial for me to stay home than to work just to pay for childcare? So that is a bit of an exaggeration but come on it's pretty damn close to reality.
Do I want to bring a child in this world? A world where people don't believe in global warming, where people blow up tourists because of religion/injustice/to make a point, where fat teenagers use the KFC Sink for a jacuzzi...ok the last thought is not serious at all but I will stand by my point that the world is pretty crazy and I'm not at all sure if I want to bring another baby into it.
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.... - Isaac Asimov
You know ba*by*i*tis: Relating to or characterized by a total obsession with babies; current babies, getting babies, and so forth.
I have to say it all started after our first anniversary
So that brings us back to the present, what do we do now? The decision to have a child is life altering. An insanely long term decision...right? Multiple questions pop into my head when I think about having a child. I like to think that this is the rational side of my brain saying "THINK ABOUT THIS DECISION STUPID....NO REALLY THINK ABOUT IT!" Here are a few of the questions that instantly pop into my head when thinking about our future children.
Can we afford a child? The main question that plagues our decision. Not because we have a lavish lifestyle and don't want a child to mess that up for us but seriously there are places in our area charging $2000 for childcare! That is almost one and a half times our rent. That alone in itself poses more questions: Do I stay home with our future child because it would be more beneficial for me to stay home than to work just to pay for childcare? So that is a bit of an exaggeration but come on it's pretty damn close to reality.
Do I want to bring a child in this world? A world where people don't believe in global warming, where people blow up tourists because of religion/injustice/to make a point, where fat teenagers use the KFC Sink for a jacuzzi...ok the last thought is not serious at all but I will stand by my point that the world is pretty crazy and I'm not at all sure if I want to bring another baby into it.
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.... - Isaac Asimov
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