So this is what it's supposed to look like...

So I woke up decided to test. I'm not sure what I really expected but this is what I was greeted with (sorry in advance for the crappy pic)...



Umm...(squint)

Wait...(rub eyes)

Is that a positive? STFU!?!...I must be fucking delusional right now. I have somehow wished a positive pregnancy test into existence and now I don't know what reality is. Is it really positive? Let's go ask the hubs.

(Walking calmly to bed to wake up Torin)

Me: Take a look at this. (hands pregnancy test handle first)
Torin: Umm...I don't know what it's supposed to look like...
Me: (I point at side of test)
Torin: Wait I thought you were going to wait until your test date or you were late? It looks like a faint plus sign. What does this mean?
Me: (So I didn't imagine it...) Today is my test day and I'm taking another test.
Torin: What? You just took one.
Me: (Running off to bathroom for the EPT we bought to use up his medical reimbursement.)

So I dipped the test in the urine I so cleverly saved and picked it up and got in bed with Torin while the test developed. We looked over at two minutes and it looked a little something like this...



So this is what a positive pregnancy test is supposed to look like.

Well Torin is not convinced, he told me to call my doc to get an appointment ASAP. So being the good wife I called the advice line and talked to the nurse. It was pretty awkward to call them but they said to call them whenever I turn up pregnant. Pregnant. (sigh) Anyhow, they ordered a blood test stat and I plan to stop by the lab before work. I should have the results tomorrow.

I've come a long way...

...since this post.

I won't say when this decision was made but we have made the decision to start trying to have a baby.

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes....

So after being married over a year and a half and being together for almost 9 years the baby conversation has come up. I remember just a few years ago being hard core against having kids for at least 5 to 6 years after we were married. Now, only a little over a year into my 5 year plan I have a case of raging babyitis.

You know ba*by*i*tis: Relating to or characterized by a total obsession with babies; current babies, getting babies, and so forth.

I have to say it all started after our first anniversary of wedded bliss when we had the discussion about me stopping birth control. I wanted to stop birth control because it was driving me crazy...ha Go Figure! We decided that we would start charting for avoidance this year and talk about trying the following year after we were married 2 years and no longer in the newlywed stage. Yea...that was the updated plan. A great plan if I was not overcome with babyitis after only a few months of charting.

So that brings us back to the present, what do we do now? The decision to have a child is life altering. An insanely long term decision...right? Multiple questions pop into my head when I think about having a child. I like to think that this is the rational side of my brain saying "THINK ABOUT THIS DECISION STUPID....NO REALLY THINK ABOUT IT!" Here are a few of the questions that instantly pop into my head when thinking about our future children.

Can we afford a child? The main question that plagues our decision. Not because we have a lavish lifestyle and don't want a child to mess that up for us but seriously there are places in our area charging $2000 for childcare! That is almost one and a half times our rent. That alone in itself poses more questions: Do I stay home with our future child because it would be more beneficial for me to stay home than to work just to pay for childcare? So that is a bit of an exaggeration but come on it's pretty damn close to reality.

Do I want to bring a child in this world? A world where people don't believe in global warming, where people blow up tourists because of religion/injustice/to make a point, where fat teenagers use the KFC Sink for a jacuzzi...ok the last thought is not serious at all but I will stand by my point that the world is pretty crazy and I'm not at all sure if I want to bring another baby into it.

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.... - Isaac Asimov